Cat's Diary
by SwaggianaPonytail
Summary: Cat's diary, what really happens behind closed doors. Cade and Bat friendship, Cabbie and Bade romance. Rated T for child abuse.
1. 13th March

**A/N**: I don't own Victorious or any of the characters.

* * *

I didn't go near Jadey today, she was still upset because Tori got the lead in the play she wanted to star in. I tried to comfort her after a while but she was being mean, I do hope she doesn't hate me.

Drake is being weirder than usual and he got shot by _two_ clowns this time, I wonder what's going on. Everyone's acting strange, why am I being blocked out?

Daddy hit me again, I tried not to cry, he so hates it when I cry and Jadey I says I have to be stronger, so I just clung to Mr. Purple. I just dropped one dish, I don't even know what I did wrong, I don't deserve to be hit for that, do I?

I called Jade and she's opening up a bit, but it will take forever since she's hard on the outside. I wonder if she's gooey on the inside... like, like roasted marshmallows! I love roasted marshmallows, one time, when I was roasting a marshmallow it fell right into the fire and Drake tried to grab it again and burned his hand. He's okay. Physically, I mean. He's seriously messed up.

Mummy's in a bad mood again so I'm trying to be extra, super helpfull and nice, yet, she started yelling mean words, which I can't write because they're so foul. The type of word Jadey uses when she's mad. I do wonder what's up with Jade, she says it's family stuff. She once told her father hit her. Is that one of the things we have in common? We both get hit?

I want to play outside but mummy doesn't want me going outside in the rain, she wants me to stay in my room. I like my room, it's pink and... and well, lovely. Jadey says it's too girly, just because she likes dark stuff, not pink, girly stuff. I don't mind though, I love pink, pretty, girly stuff. Mr. Purple likes it too, he tells me it looks beautiful. He's ever so sweet, not like anyone else in my family. No. That's not true. My brother, Drake, is love, when he doesn't wear my bras, that's just weird. Boys don't wear bras! That's like, like Jadey wearing a pink dress!  
Mummy's yelling again, she's saying more rude words. Daddy's yelling back and I can hear him slap her. I hate him slapping mummy. It's not fair.

Wait. A door just slammed. What's that supposed to mean!? They said I couldn't go outside! Why do they get to leave?

Oh, wait, I just heard daddy talking to Drake, but I can't hear mummy, she's probably gone to get her special drink. She loves her special drink, I love it too. Not drinking it, I'm not allowed, but seeing the effect on mummy. It makes her all happy and giddy and nice to me. It's like when I have too much bibble. I love bibble, but I'm not allowed to have it, in fact, I've been banned completly.

No, seriously, daddy called every store nation wide and they're not allowed to sell me, Caterina Hannah Valentine, unless they want to get arrested or something like that. Robbie sneaks me some from time, but it's never enough and it's not even near what Mason bought me, though in defense, Mason did buy me a wagon full. Anyways, if Jade caught me with bibble, she'd had a fit. Like that time I accidently shaved her eyebrows off, I told her it was an accident but she still shaved my head.

Jade's bipolar, Beck told me we're both bipolar, so that's another thing we have in common, but Beck said we were bipolar in different ways, I don't kn ow what it means though, and he wouldn't explain properly, he just said we were special.

Special. Isn't that nice? I like being special, and Jade's special too! I tried telling her but she said I shouldn't say _dirtyword dirtyword_ things. She's really nice once you get to know her though, though she crumbles a lot, but I crumble even more! Like the cookie I found in my pocket last week, crumble, crumble, crumble.

I'm going to have dinner, hopefully mummy will be back by now.

Love,

**Cat Valentine**.


	2. 14th March

I think Jade lied to me today, not a _lie_ like, but still, I was upset because daddy had taken Mr. Longneck away and wouldn't let me bring him to scool, so I tried clinging on to Jade as I would to Mr. Longneck, she let me hold her hand for a bit and then I got bored and started playing with her many bracelets and she pushed me away and said she didn't like being touched, which she always says. But _then_ Beck came, wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her cheek. Why does she let Beck hug her and not me?

She once told me she was afraid of people hurting her, but that's insane. I would never, ever, ever hurt Jade. Not even when I get hyper. My daddy took me to a special doctor once for special people and since I'm special, I went to that doctor. Anyway, he told me that when I got too giddy and hyper, I could become a danger to myself and others. I found this funny because I don't like hurting people or myself, but daddy didn't and he pinched my leg hard for laughing. It really hurt.

I told Jadey she should go to the special doctor because Beck told me she's special, and she didn't say anything mean or even a word of gratitude, as I was expecting, she simply asked me who had taken me. I found this funny aswell, but Jade didn't and she got all mad when I told her my daddy did, in fact, she got so mad, she left school early, which was really weird. It was weird because Jade hates leaving school, since it means going home and she hates her home. It was also weird because I didn't see what the problem was, daddy was being lovely for taking me to the special doctor.

It's been a day and mummy hasn't come back. I don't get it. Why does it take so long to get a special drink? I thought daddy would be extra mad but he is being sweet and he even gave me some chocolate! I got all hyper, though, and broke a glass accidently so he slapped me across the face with the back of his hand. It still hurts.

Tori was rude to me today. She said she was having one of those days in which she didn't want to be bothered by a 'bipolar child'. I don't know what bipolar is, but I do know what child is and that's not fair. I'm very nearly seventeen. I was all happy and then when she said that I got all mad and then sad, and then _she_ got mad and left. Jadey asked me what was wrong and we, well she forced me to, skipped class to go to the fifth floor where there's an abandoned bathroom. I saw Jade cry for the first time in there, after that, we made it our own. I wanted it decorated all pink and girly, but Jade wanted it to be dark and gothic. It looks lovely now. The walls are a soft, baby, pink colour with black, artistic splashes of paint everywhere. Jade painted some scissors on the stall doors and then painted a rose for me after I pestered her for quite a while.

I told her Tori had been rude and then I told her Tori called me a bipolar child. I wish I hadn't told Jade, though, she got up, kicked the door open and went to find Tori. Next time I saw Tori, she was soaking wet. Jade had poured coffee all over her. I felt truly terrible.

A door just slammed! Yay, mummy's home, let me go see her.

* * *

It isn't mummy. It's a strange woman with daddy. I didn't come downstairs, he's already told us loads of times before not to come downstairs when there's people who don't know us here. So I looked over the stairs. I thought they were just friends but... but, they were kissing! What about mummy? I'm so scared. Should I tell Jade? No. I'll tell her tomorrow, if I tell her now, she'll come over and I don't want her to come over right now. Daddy will know I saw them if she comes.

I wonder if daddy will tell the woman about Drake and me. He told me once, when I came downstairs when there were strange people, that he didn't want people knowing he was the father of a mentally stupid boy and a bipolar, freaky red head.

Bipolar. There's that word again. Why do people use it to describe me? All I know is that it's not good, because if it was good, they wouldn't be using it against me. I asked Jade but she ignored me, I asked Beck but he said it was nothing to worry about. I'm sick of everyone treating me like a five year old! I even ased Robbie when he was sneaking me bibble and he shrugged, saying he didn't know either. What's that supposed to mean? That he really doesn't know or that he's just pretending so I can leave him alone?

Wait, daddy's calling me. I better go, maybe he'll tell me about the strange woman.

Love,

Cat Valentine.


	3. 15th March

Daddy did introduce us to the strange woman. She said we were cute! But I still have a strange feeling about her. I told Jade and she said it was probably just a co worker. I then told her about the kiss but she didn't say anything, just ran the edge of her special scissors of her lips. I hate it when she does that. She says it causes her the 'good' kind of pain, whatever that's supposed to mean.

When the strange woman left I asked daddy where mummy was. At first he didn't respond and then he got so, so scary. He grabbed my shoulder's and shook me hard and started yelling at me to forget about mummy. I cried, but I promise I cried very softly. He got even madder and threw me on to the floor. I ran upstairs and locked the door. I'm still shaking and my back hurts. What is it I do wrong all the time? And, how am I supposed to forget mummy?

My mummy was lovely, well kind of. She once told me that if I hadn't been born with a good voice, I would have been put up for adoption. But she's also been nice in the past, she bought me Mr. Purple and threw me a huge party when I was seven, but she had a little too much of her special drink and vomited all over the floor.

Jadey and I are going to hang out on Friday, because her daddy will be away. He doesn't like me, he doesn't like anyone. Not even Jadey. Jade has similar problems to me. But her daddy hits her when he has a special drink and she doesn't have a mummy. Hade says she died when Jade was thirteen.

I hope we do makeovers and tell secrets and sing and watch films. It's been ages since we've hung out together. She normally hangs out with Beck and I go too sometimes, but I feel all uncomfortable since they get all touchy-feely. When we do hang out together, Beck normally comes along. I really like Beck, he says I'm his little sister, but I sometimes want to hang out with Jadey all by myself, even though I feel all write for writing that, like that time I punched Tori on the nose. I felt all bad, but kind of good. Daniel had been my first real boyfriend and Tori ruined it. Jade was mad because she didn't see the punch, because she was sick in hospital. I stayed with her all night, Tori left with her sister and Andre and then Robbie's grandma came and took him home, but I knew no one would come for Beck or Jade, so I looked after them. I was a super great helper, I just pretended I was playing a role in a film and I had to be a nurse. I held Jadey's long, brown hair while she was sick and brought her cups of water. When Beck got better, he drove us all home. I actually hate hospitals, ever sinec they locked me in a room and put huge red cubes on my hands. It was funny at first, but then it got dark. Jade finally found me and brought me home. I got punished for being late, when it wasn't even my fault. That happens to me alot, getting in trouble for something I can't even help.

Drake plaited my hair today, he's being really nice, and I know why. He wants to go to Jade's house aswell, since he has a crush on her, but Jade hates him and it's totally unfair because my brother is absolutely lovely and sweet. I told daddy I'm going to Jadey's house today. H e likes Jade, he says she's pretty. I wonder why that means he likes her, but I don't mind. I rather him like her than hate her. I hope we watch The Little Mermaid, though I doubt she will let me watch it, she'll make me watch some horrible film like The Scissoring. When I watch those type of movies over at Jade's house, I get so scared I have to climb into bed with her. She doesn't mind because she feels guilty for making me watch such gory films. Maybe I'll be able to convince her this time, I love The Little Mermaid, and we both have red hair!

Ever since mummy left, daddy expects me to cook everything, but I don't know how, so when I come home from school I try and study cook books, unless I want to make him mad, which I don't! Robbie and I go to a cooking class at HA now, it's very fun! I'm trying to get them to teach me how to do bibble so maybe I can make my own bibble factory! But we only learn how to do pasta and baking. Well, I'm not allowed to touch the oven so Robbie does that part, but, still, it really helps and I make lovely pasta, Drake told me I was better than mummy! Isn't that nice? I don't like cooking for the strange woman, she's ever so mean now, when daddy goes to work on Saturdays, she insults me and makes fun of my hair, pulling the red strands and pinching my arms with her long, spiky nails. I hate hate hate her. Why does every grown up I know feel the need to hurt me? I don't ever to anything wrong, and I can't _help _being the way I am. It's a good think I'm in Hollywood Arts, or I'd go crazy, even though I'm in HA thanks to a scholarship. I love it, I love to sing and they taught me how to act properly aswell, and thanks to Hollywood Arts, I met Andre and Robbie and Beck! I already knew Jade from kindergarden and we auditioned together, she's on a scholarship aswell, yay, that's another of the things we have in common, we both like to sing and we're both in HA thanks to a scholarship! Although, I think she preffers acting to singing, and she likes script writing. I don't, I preffer music to theatre, even though I like acting aswell. It's confusing.

Drake's crying in his room. I think he just fell over, I'd go over there and calm him down bu t my back hurts and anyway, I'm probably not allowed to leave my room. Oh, wait. He hasn't fallen over, daddy's yelling. No, no, I wish I could warn him to not ask about mummy and to not cry. I can't take it anymore, I don't want to live here anymore. I'm sick of getting hurt and not be able to talk and have to cook. Mr. Purple is scared. He's trying to block out the sounds of Drake being hit.

He's quiet now, daddy must have given him his special pills so that he falls asleep, I'm glad, though, I hate it when his screams echo around the house.

I think I may go to bed soon, I like staying up late when I'm over at Jade's, it's surprisingly easy for me to stay up late, I wonder why. It's nearly eleven, I haven't ever gone to bed this early before, hopefully daddy won't wake me up or Drake, though he probably will. He has a hair clip he uses to open my door easily and when he gets hit, he always likes to get into bed with me, just because he thinks he won't get hurt in bed with me. I know the real reason why I don't get hurt. Mr. Longneck protects me, he's ever so sweet and he's so innapropriate!

I've changed into my cupcake PJ's now, I'm going to bed. I wish I had bibble with me, and Jade and Beck. Beck would look after Jade and me, he once told Jade when she was in one of her moods that he'd always look after her. Isn't that sweet? I wonder if Robbie says the same about me.

Okay, I'm clinging to Mr. Longneck so that nothing happens to me tonight.

Goodnight.

Love,

**Cat Valentine**


	4. 18th March

The strange woman hurt me, she slapped me across the face. Daddy keeps yelling, the people in class won't leave me alone. I'm sick of everyone and everything, even Jade and Beck. I'm not five years old, I'm seventeen! Well, nearly. The girls that insult me in class keep tripping me in the halls, but I can't tell Jade or she'll go all mean to them and people will hate me... even more than they do now.

The word 'bipolar' keeps popping up. When I got all hyper yesterday, Tori grabbed Mr. Purple and threw him out the window! I went to get Mr. Purple and when I found him and grabbed him, I kind of tackled Tori. I was sent to Lane. It was so unfair, I refused to go until Jade came with me so I just sat there screaming her name until she finally came and she argued with Lane. I'm glad she did, thanks to her I didn't get a disciplinary note sent home. Jade bailed me out of the guidance counselors office, but Beck got really mad and scolded me. I think he forgets I'm not his sister sometimes, it's really stressful, he very nearly put me in a timeout like he does with Jadey, but I started crying then because I don't like being told off, so he hugged me, which was sweet. Maybe I'm not sick of them, I was just mad. I feel all bad for writing that. He even bought me icecream! Well, he bought it for Jade, but Jade was in a bad mood so she gave it to me, yay! Mr. Purple's traumatised, though. He won't speak to me, I'll have to talk to Mr. Longneck, he always knows what to do.

Drake's cheek is swollen still, and he limps when he walks. Daddy really hit him hard the other day and the nurse that looks after him started questioning us but I pretended my mouth was a zipper and I zipped my mouth shut. I put ice on his cheek, but it doesn't seem to be doing anything. I think daddy feels bad about it, though, because he bought him a lollipop. My daddy isn't so hard on me, but my back still hurts.

I can hear Drake singing from the bathtub, I love to hear him sing, it means he's calmed down. The nurse had to physically shove him into the bath, but it made his leg hurt so he was howling. I wanted to help but the strange woman was making me sing. It's hard to sing while your brother's screams echo around the house. I'm glad daddy wasn't home or he would've gotten mad for me disappointing the woman and for Drake screaming. At least he's quiet now, I can hear the nurse giving him little cups of water because the tap keeps running and I can hear the clink of the glass. It helps soothe his sore throat from screaming. She's washing his hair now, I know this because he's giggling, he loves having his hair washed. He auditioned for Hollywood Arts with me, but they wouldn't take him because of his mental records. Isn't that cruel? He cried for days.

Jade and I had a wonderful time. I went over to her house and we had popcorn, chocolate, candies, noodles, potatoes and cupcakes! We watched The Scissoring and Jade laughed every time someone got brutally killed. I hid behind her. We then talked a bit and sang and she let me try coffee after making me promise not to tell Beck. When it was night time, I got really scared. I didn't want to be brutally killed by those scissors! So I climbed into bed with her and held her hand. She only cursed a little bit, but she pushed me away every time I played with her bracelets, for whatever reason. She drove me home and Drake tried to flirt with her. It was so funny! Jade got mad though and she left in a bad mood. I kind of miss her now that Drake's stopped singing and everyone's quiet. I think the strange woman is asleep in daddy's bed. I don't know where daddy is, I think he's at the bar, he's been going there alot. I hope he comes back in a good mood, when he's in a good mood, he's absolutely lovely, and he buys me sweets and chocolates and I get hyper and he gets mad again. His good moods are as rare as Jade's good moods, she's normally in a bad one. I don't get why people aren't in good moods all the time, I love being happy, though I get upset sometimes, but it's not my fault.

It's dark now, Drake's gone to bed but I'm still awake. I have the light turned off in case I'm caught with it on, I'm using a torch app I found at the Pear Store! It's really good and I turn it off everytime I hear footsteps in the hall. Drake's nurse just left, she always comes from five o'clock in the afternoon to eleven, even though Drake goes to bed at ten, she has to stay just in case he needs to go potty or he has nightmares or daddy and the strange woman leave since we can't stay home alone.

Last time we did, we accidently broke a window and we got robbed. Whoops. We didn't tell daddy, though, we called Beck who came with Jade and they fixed it, though Beck was really mad. He doesn't know my daddy can be mean, though, Jade says she loves Beck but we can't tell him, because he'll probably call the police and Jade says we don't want that. I don't know what I want. Well, I do, I want bibble and stuff from Sky store!  
Robbie sneaked me a small bad of bibble yesterday in school. I wanted to save some so that I could gradually eat it but I somehow ended up eating it in less than a minute but Jade caught me because apparently I had bibble breath. I felt really bad, she poured expired soy mild all over Robbie, which wasn't fair. It didn't stop me from getting more from him later, though, I even washed my teeth so that Jade wouldn't catch me. Luckily Beck was off sick, so he didn't tell me off too. The thing is, because Beck was off sick, Jade was in a really, really, _really_ bad mood. I hung out with Robbie all day and Rex teased my ponytail all the time. I wonder if Robbie liked it, though I doubt he even noticed, Jade told me boys don't notice either, but still, she was in a bad mood. She thinks that Beck isn't really sick and is hanging out with some girls, even though he has a fever and when she went round to his RV yesterday he was vomiting into a bucket.

I don't understand Jade sometimes, I mean, why doesn't she trust Beck? He's only kissed Tori once, tried to kiss her again, kissed Trina, and gave school rides to random girls in his neighborhood and that's it! And he did most of those things when they weren't even together and the rest of the times it was for a play or rehearsing for it. Not like Daniel and Tori, I saw them in full on lip mushing action. It feels as though I'm not good enough for anybody. And Tori's so mean to me, she always calls me a child. I hate that. Well, she's nice sometimes, she did take me to see my favourite actress and thanks to her I got introduced to bibble and I got a wagon full from Mason! I love bibble. Also, thanks to her we had a Prome, but Robbie got all mad at me for 'lying' even though I didn't lie, and I really did have a date! He had such a cool hat, it was a shame that his jacket caught on fire, and Jade Prome queen! I kind of wish I had won but I'm glad Jade did. It was such a shame that Beck wasn't there, they could've been voted Prome king and queen! I don't get why Jade didn't want to be queen, she looked so pretty in her dark blue dress with her hair pulled back.

We once snuck into a Prom when we were 14 and she wore a lovely black dress and some high heels. I wore a lovely short, pink dress and very, very, _very_ high heels. I was nearly as tall as Jadey! I normally reach her shoulder but I reached her nose! I've always been small for my age, when I was six people thought I was four. Jade's theory is that since I didn't have many vitamins when I was a baby and a toddler, because my mum was seventeen when she had me, I didn't grow much. I sometimes hate being the smallest in class because I have to stand on tiptoe to kiss Robbie's cheek and ever since high heels got banned from Hollywood Arts, when we sit on the stage in the Blackbox theatre, my feet barely reach the floor, I like swinging them though, that's fun, and I'm the only one that can play the game since I'm the only one who doesn't reach the floor!  
Cooking class with Robbie is going great! I'm still not allowed to use the oven or stove, but still, I know how to make pasta, bread, cakes and, the best bit is that I learned to make red velvet cupcakes! Like my hair! I brought one for Drake, who loved it, one for daddy and none for the strange woman! But I got a timeout and a slap for being selfish, I don't mind, though, it was totally worth it and when I was allowed to leave the timeout, daddy said it was lovely! Yay! I love daddy when he's nice, but it's hard for him to be a good mood.  
I'm really tired now, and I need to get up early to do breakfast.

Goodnight!  
Love,  
**Cat Valentine**


	5. 20th March

Tori told me. What bipolar is, I mean. Jade and Beck have given her a hard time about it, when it really isn't her fault since I asked her in the first place, but I haven't talked since, I only talk when talked to. I feel confused and sad, I even wore my "I'm sad, ask me why," button but no one asked why.  
Bipolar.  
I keep saying the word, it tastes like sour milk on my tongue. It's such a mean word. I'm not bipolar, so why would people call me that strange word? Bipolar. It even sounds cruel. Jade's texted me a few times but I haven't replied yet, I don't really know why, I guess I'm just mad they didn't tell me before. Why do they keep things from me? They act as though I'm five years old. Beck's calling me now, I think they're together, probably in his RV. I think I'll pick up, just so that they don't feel bad.  
I've talked to Beck, he's really nice. I could hear Jade making coffee in the background. I think I'm happy now, but I'm not sure, I'm still confused. Beck told me I shouldn't worry about it, it made me even more special. He promised I'd be happy again and that I shouldn't go mute like I was planning to because I have a nice voice. Beck's really nice to me, except when he argues with Jade, then they both go into bad moods, when he's not in a bad mood, he calls me 'Kitty'. It's really cute, I like it. I always miaow when he calls me that.  
Something cheered me up in school slightly after Tori had told me, Jade had just come out of the bathroom and she was rearranging her bracelets. She had gone to the bathroom because she had gotten into a fight with Beck. Anyways, I saw her bracelets, though she looked alarmed when I saw her bracelets for whatever reason, and I saw the bracelet I made her at the sleepover! I just felt all happy because she hadn't cut it up yet. I made it with silver and green thread and on a bead I wrote "JW" in very careful writing, and a little black heart. I really did think she was going to cut it up, but she didn't and she's still wearing it! I went to touch it but then she started yelling at me ad it made me all sad again.  
I hate it when she and Beck fight, why do people fight all the time? I like being happy, except when I'm sad, but I get really mean when I'm angry. I tell everyone to... to choke on a cupcake. I always feel all bad later, but it's so worth it. So when Jade yelled at me, I told her to choke on a cupcake and then went into class and threw a chair against the wall. I don't know why, but when I get mad I can't seem to control it and my hands start to shake. I'm glad I don't get mad often.  
Anyways, Sikowitz sent me to Lane but I refused and screamed before Jade managed to calm me down, telling me she'd go with me. Lane told me off for throwing the chair and started asking me personal, family questions. I acted the best that I could but I held Jade's hand. He gave me a disciplinary note, ignoring Jade's threats, curses and swears. When I left I started crying and Jade didn't do anything, just squeeze my hand a bit and tell me not to cry. Comforting is not something she's good at, but it helped a bit all the same.  
When I got home I showed daddy the note and he got so mad. So, so, so mad. He started shaking me and then he slapped me across the face before pushing me into the corner for a timeout. The timeout lasted three minutes before he grabbed me and threw me against the wall. The breath was knocked out of me. Time froze. I felt as though I couldn't breathe. I couldn't talk or scream or move before I gently slid down the floor and he left me there. I'm never going to be bad in school again, though I can't really help it. I somehow managed to drag myself up the stairs and I got into bed, but Mr. Longneck was really nice and comforted me. I sometimes wish Mr. Longneck was really big, so big that I could nuzzled into his arms and he'd look after me. It would be so cool to ride Mr. Longneck. One time, my brother went to the zoo with me and he sneaked into the giraffe exhibit. I was about to go in aswell but the lady who ran the exhibit made us leave. Phooey.  
The door just slammed, daddy's probably going to get his special drink. When he gets back je may be mad, but I'm hoping he'll be happy. If he's happy I won't have to go downstairs to make dinner. I burnt my hand yesterday while I was frying because the strange woman suddenly yelled at me. If daddy's mad I'll have to cook everything perfectly but I'm tired, my back hurts from when it hit the wall and my throat hurts from yelling today.  
Jade's just sent me a text, she's asked me if I've told daddy about the note yet and he has done. I'm glad Jade's my best friend, she really cares about me, though it doesn't' seem that way when she's in a bad mood, and I sometimes don't understand her sarcastic comments.  
I've told her what he's done and asked her if she's going to tell Beck. I always ask her this after telling her and she always says she won't without hesitation. I kind of get why she doesn't want to tell Beck now. He'd overreact and then I'd get put in a foster home, or a mental ward and be taken out of Hollywood Arts and lose Robbie and Jadey and my friends forever. No. I don't want to tell Beck either.  
I can tell by the way Jade texts that she's angry. Her words are spelt wrong because she's been hitting the buttons hard and anyways, her statues on The Slap is "murderous". I'm glad I'm not there right now, or she'd be demanding I take off my T-shirt and show her my back, to see if she can make it better. It's soothing sometimes, when she puts ice on my bumps and bruises, but other times it's horrible because she puts this clear liquid on the wound and it stings and burns! I try telling her it hurts more than the actual booboo itself but she won't listen. She'll make me skip class tomorrow with her so that she can put something on my back. I'm laying down on my stomach as I write this because my back hurts too much. I'm afraid to look at it though, just in case it's too icky.  
I want Jade to be here now, I want her to cure my back, it's hurting and aching too much. I'm going to text her, though it wouldn't be very fair because she's with Beck and he'd be all alone if she leaves. I can just wait until tomorrow. Hopefully we'll skip first period.  
Love,  
**Cat Valentine**


	6. 23rd March

Jadey didn't come to school today, and I was really worried. Jade has skipped school before, but she usually goes with Beck or warns me so that I don't get scared, but she hasn't done either of things today.  
Beck thinks it's because she was sick last night, but I doubt it, Jade hates her home so why would she want to stay in it all day? I mentioned this to Beck but he just ignored me.  
When school ended, I took a bus all by myself to Jade's house. I've been going to Jade's house since I was six and she's always told me to climb up the side of the wall that leads to her bedroom window when she's not with me. It's got a stair attached to the wall but it's covered in vines and plants so you can't really tell. I've only ever gone in through the front door when she's with me so today was no different. I got to her house, went round the side and climbed the wall before tapping the window twice.  
I saw her and I knew then why she had skipped school. Her eye was completely black, but in the way makeup can't cover, and her bottom lip was caked with dry blood, her cheek with a cut across it.  
I went into her bedroom and saw that she was limping aswell. I asked her what had happened and she said she was getting medicine for her sore throat and dropped it on the floor, it smashed and her dad got really mad. I felt really bad for her so I wanted to be super helpful and cleaned her lips with cold water and the blood came off gradually, though I had to pick some off and accidentally hurt her and she got mad and pushed me away.  
I helped her into her pyjamas, though she didn't really want my help. Jade's like that. She hates being vulnerable.  
When I saw her in her underwear, I saw her belly was bruised and her leg was black at blue at the thigh.  
I started crying a bit then as I put her pyjama's on her. I don't like seeing Jade like that. She's supposed to be the strong one, not the other way round and plus, I hate seeing her in pain.  
I put ice on her eye, like I've seen the nurse do to Drake, and put some more ice on her belly. I didn't know what to do about her leg or her cheek or her lip.  
I was scared, I still am. I hope nothing happens to her, maybe we do need Beck, he'd help, wouldn't he?  
I don't know what to do, after sending Jade around 20 texts when I got home, she sent,e a text back telling me not to worry. But I am worrying. What if her dad hurts her more? She won't be able to defend herself from his blows.  
I wonder if I should tell Beck now, he always knows what to do, but if I tell him, Jadey will get mad at me.  
I'm freaking out, I'm freaking out!  
She'll get mad at me but he'd help her. He also knows he has to climb the side of the wall so her dad won't see him.  
Okay, I'm texting him, I don't care if she gets mad at me for telling. I've texted him, I told him Jade was hurt in her house and he texted me a "Okay, going," text quickly.  
Jadey's going to hurt me and get mad at me and she won't be my friend anymore.  
No.  
I'm being selfish now. I have to think of Jade first. Beck will cure her, yay!  
Jadey will be happy because she'll be healed and she'll go to school tomorrow and defend me from the girls who keep tripping me in school. They keep tripping me and pushing me, they always do this when Jade's not here and Beck was doing a scene with Sikowitz. I brought Mr. Longneck to school and he saved me. A mean girl tripped me in school and I fell face first and I would've bashed my chin against the floor but Mr. Longneck fell under my chin and broke my fall!  
I didn't cry one bit since Jade has told me lots of times to never cry when I'm in front of people who hurt me. It'll make them hurt me more. The girls ran when I fell on the floor and Beck found me there and bought me a sweet because I hurt my nose and chest on the hard floor. But the sweet was nice and it sizzled on my tongue. I want sweets now. And Jadey. I don't know where daddy is, I don't know where the strange woman is and worst of all, I don't know where Drake is.  
I'm scared, I don't like being home alone. Maybe I should have called Beck to look after me. No. I'm being selfish again. I did the right thing, calling Beck so that he looks after Jade.  
Oh Gosh.  
I hope she's okay and isn't in any pain.  
Beck will know what to do, he always does.  
I think I'm going to go to sleep soon so that when I wake up, Drake and Daddy will be here and I won't be home alone. And then when I go to school tomorrow Jade will be fine and she won't be mad at me for telling Beck.  
Hopefully.  
Goodnight.  
Love,  
**Cat Valentine**


	7. 25th March

**A/N: **_Hi everyone, so yeah, this is sort of a filler chapter, but I'm trying to hint at some stuff with Jade, maybe someone can guess it? And also between Cat's dad and his girlfriend. So yeah, lots of stuff is coming up and I hope you guys like it! I always read your sweet reviews and I wish I had the time to reply to each and everyone of you, but thank you so so so much, I really appreciate them. _

_Thank you!_

_Anyways, enjoy this chapter, lovelies 3 xoxoxo Sofia_

* * *

Robbie kissed me today! But I'm not really sure if I'm happy about it or not. If we end up being boyfriend and girlfriend like Jadey and Beck, it will be great! But what if something happens and we break up and we aren't friends up?

So I ran away. i don't know why. I just did. What if something happens between us, though, either good or bad?

Jadey nearly killed me yesterday, because I told Beck. She came to school and she looked better, but her lip was swollen and Beck's arm was around her waist because she couldn't walk properly. When Beck left to give her coffee she started yelling at me, but in the end she didn't seem mad. She didn't thank me but I bet she was silently thanking me.

Beck hasn't told anyone but only because Jade had to threaten, curse and beg him not to. He said that if she gets hurt like that again, he will tell someone. They had a fight over it but they're okay now.

No one could tell Jade was limping since Beck's arm is always around her waist, but if you looked and stared and really, really payed attention, he was holding her firmly so that she wouldn't fall and Jade would wince every now and then. I felt a bit bad about moaning about my sore back all those days ago. Jade never protests or moans when she gets hurt and when I get hurt, she skips class to help me.

She's the bestest friend ever.

When Jade went to the bathroom I started crying a bit, but I felt better when Beck hugged me. He said I had been brave and responsible because I had called him. He then bought me a juice box later on.

Apart from being hurt and me telling Beck, Jade was in a very, very bad mood today. I think it's because she hates people looking after her and I also think it was because she has the "you know what" that happens every month.

I think Beck suspected it too because he didn't put her in a timeout at all today.

When I went to the bathroom during break time, Jade came with me and I asked her how she covered her black eye. She seemed annoyed at first but then she told me to get closer. I got so close to Jadey's face that I could have counted each individual eyelash. Anyways, I saw that she was wearing a ton of concealer and powder, but by getting so close, you could see a bit of the bruise. Jade was in such a bad mood today that she locked Tori in the janitor's closet for two hours. That was a bit mean. I would've let her out but Jade had the key and I never figured out how to pick locks using bobby pins either, so I ended up begging Jade to give me the key.

It turns out the strange woman and daddy had taken Drake to the doctor yesterday so that's why they weren't here. Drake was crying when he came back home because they had given him a shot.

I hugged him and gave him some sweets because I felt really bad for him. I hate shots too, they're really scary and they hurt.

I think I'm going to go to bed now, not because I'm sleeping, but because Robbie keeps texting me and I don't want to lie to him by changing my status to "sleeping" because I'm not sleeping. It's not really late either, it's nearly eleven o'clock.

Okay, I've changed my status and switched off my phone so I'm going to bed now.

Goodnight.

Love,

**Cat Valentine**


End file.
